I don't find it difficult to forgive someone who has hurt me, but I do find it very, very difficult to forgive someone who hurts my children. I guess I'm just like a mother bear protecting her cubs.
Thats so true. Why is it that "secondary offences" are often harder to forgive than when we have been hurt? Does anyone have any thoughts on how we can forgive those who hurt the people we love?
Forgiveness is not an option! As hard as it is, if we have chosen to love God we must find a way to forgive and horror of horrors, we must even find a way to love those who hurt us. It's all about love, love for God and what he first did for us and then love for his people. Personally the hardest person I find to forgive is myself..yet forgive I must..and even choose to love who and what I am. "Love others as you love yourself"...how much love will we have to give if we choose not to love and forgive ourselves. Personally I choose God and his word and therefore I choose to love and to forgive.
I find it hard to forgive people right away....I believe it takes time. I know God does not take His time. It's instant with Him! We humans tend to take longer!
I don't believe we need to love that person right back, I think forgiveness from our heart is the most important. For example, if you have been abused by a parent whom is now distant from you and has been for many years, I think in your heart you should choose to forgive, but I don't think it is appropriate to start a new relationship with the parent if they are still abusing others and have not changed.
Great discussion. Being willing to forgive others can be very difficutlt. Especially when it seems you are the one making most of the effort. Jesus does not leave us alot of options. He does not say forgive when the conditions are just right. He does not say forgive when people have apolgized to you first. He just says, "forgive." The challenge is for you to do the right thing "first" and leave the rest up to God. Guarantee.....you will be the benifiter of forgivness even though there seems to be nothing in return. You will benifit knowing you have done the right thing. You will benifit knowing you have honoured God. You will benifit knowing you are no longer a victum of the wound or hurt, instead you are a victor. You also benifit knowing that if ever the person who has hurt you repents, you will have the peace of already forgiven them.
"I can do all things throug Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 Yes, even forgive.
Yup...it's not a case of liking, it's a case of forgiving. Besides, everytime we don't forgive we become part of the problem. Christ came to bring "peace" which means wholeness, unbroken, in tune with God's will etc. Forgiveness brings us much closer to that place where "peace" reigns in us and thus so does love. We cannot know God unless we know love for He IS love.
I am struggling with "forgiveness and loving" of certain individuals, including their dogs that murdered my little dog. Daughter bringing my daughter to a place of evil, mother who phoned here screaming at us about seemingly insignificant things. Grandparents who barely acknowledge their neighbours even though we have lived close by for decades. I get an empty pit feeling in my gut every time I see any one of them. However, what I have started doing is praying for them to see the light of Jesus and to give me the strength and grace to forgive and love them. I feel relieved to know that I still do not have to "like" them or be their friend, just pray for their salvation.
Wow. I guess now I can see why things have been fairly "anonymous" on here...saves us having to talk these things out face to face eh? lol. Well... Yes I believe that Jesus requires us to forgive ourselves and one another, he also requires perfection...holiness...a lot of really hard things to grasp and live out. Fortunately he hasn't asked us to do any of it on our own. Sweet deal! I think true forgiveness and change only happens through the miraculous hand of God, the same way he shapes our salvation... the same we he changes our hearts. I don't believe this is a "quick" process. I think that as we trust in Him and continualy hand back our frustrations and difficulties he continues to change our hearts and minds. If you can't forgive keep praying about it. Wait on Jesus in prayer and ask him to change your heart. I think sometimes it really does take time. Victoria
For a lot of people being able to let go of a wound is hard. Some how we think we are letting people off the hook for what they have done.
ReplyDeleteFor me I can let go but I can't forget. I know God can help me.
ReplyDeleteI don't find it difficult to forgive someone who has hurt me, but I do find it very, very difficult to forgive someone who hurts my children. I guess I'm just like a mother bear protecting her cubs.
ReplyDeleteThats so true. Why is it that "secondary offences" are often harder to forgive than when we have been hurt? Does anyone have any thoughts on how we can forgive those who hurt the people we love?
ReplyDeletePD
Forgiveness is not an option! As hard as it is, if we have chosen to love God we must find a way to forgive and horror of horrors, we must even find a way to love those who hurt us. It's all about love, love for God and what he first did for us and then love for his people. Personally the hardest person I find to forgive is myself..yet forgive I must..and even choose to love who and what I am. "Love others as you love yourself"...how much love will we have to give if we choose not to love and forgive ourselves. Personally I choose God and his word and therefore I choose to love and to forgive.
ReplyDeleteI find it hard to forgive people right away....I believe it takes time. I know God does not take His time. It's instant with Him! We humans tend to take longer!
ReplyDeleteI don't believe we need to love that person right back, I think forgiveness from our heart is the most important.
For example, if you have been abused by a parent whom is now distant from you and has been for many years, I think in your heart you should choose to forgive, but I don't think it is appropriate to start a new relationship with the parent if they are still abusing others and have not changed.
Luke 17:3-4 & Mat. 18:21-22 The word brother in these scriptures are they referring to brother/sister in christ or to everyone?
ReplyDeleteMark 11:25 & Mat. 6:14 Must we forgive all persons if there is no repentance?
EVERYONE - not just brother/sister in Christ!
ReplyDeleteGreat discussion. Being willing to forgive others can be very difficutlt. Especially when it seems you are the one making most of the effort. Jesus does not leave us alot of options. He does not say forgive when the conditions are just right. He does not say forgive when people have apolgized to you first. He just says, "forgive." The challenge is for you to do the right thing "first" and leave the rest up to God. Guarantee.....you will be the benifiter of forgivness even though there seems to be nothing in return. You will benifit knowing you have done the right thing. You will benifit knowing you have honoured God. You will benifit knowing you are no longer a victum of the wound or hurt, instead you are a victor. You also benifit knowing that if ever the person who has hurt you repents, you will have the peace of already forgiven them.
ReplyDelete"I can do all things throug Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
Yes, even forgive.
Pastor Dave
Yup...it's not a case of liking, it's a case of forgiving. Besides, everytime we don't forgive we become part of the problem. Christ came to bring "peace" which means wholeness, unbroken, in tune with God's will etc. Forgiveness brings us much closer to that place where "peace" reigns in us and thus so does love. We cannot know God unless we know love for He IS love.
ReplyDeleteI am struggling with "forgiveness and loving" of certain individuals, including their dogs that murdered my little dog. Daughter bringing my daughter to a place of evil, mother who phoned here screaming at us about seemingly insignificant things. Grandparents who barely acknowledge their neighbours even though we have lived close by for decades. I get an empty pit feeling in my gut every time I see any one of them. However, what I have started doing is praying for them to see the light of Jesus and to give me the strength and grace to forgive and love them. I feel relieved to know that I still do not have to "like" them or be their friend, just pray for their salvation.
ReplyDeleteWow. I guess now I can see why things have been fairly "anonymous" on here...saves us having to talk these things out face to face eh? lol. Well... Yes I believe that Jesus requires us to forgive ourselves and one another, he also requires perfection...holiness...a lot of really hard things to grasp and live out. Fortunately he hasn't asked us to do any of it on our own. Sweet deal! I think true forgiveness and change only happens through the miraculous hand of God, the same way he shapes our salvation... the same we he changes our hearts. I don't believe this is a "quick" process. I think that as we trust in Him and continualy hand back our frustrations and difficulties he continues to change our hearts and minds. If you can't forgive keep praying about it. Wait on Jesus in prayer and ask him to change your heart. I think sometimes it really does take time.
ReplyDeleteVictoria